The Holy Traditionalist Empire of Creeperopolis is a titanic, cultured nation, ruled by Emperador Alexander II with an iron fist, and remarkable for its zero percent divorce rate, enslaved workforce, and complete lack of prisons. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 24.142 billion Creeperans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Industry, and Spirituality are also considered important, while Welfare and Social Policy aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of San Salvador. The average income tax rate is 91.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Creeperian economy, worth a remarkable 9,235 trillion Creeperian Colóns a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Retail, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 382,557 Creeperian Colóns, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.7 times as much as the poorest.

Bands of paramedics walk the streets looking for suspicious medical activity, aggravated apostrophe abusers are admonished and assaulted, children grow up believing the sun to be a myth, and printing ink yields Catholicism's biggest return on investment. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Creeperopolis's national animal is the Golden Eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Catholicism.

Creeperopolis is ranked 7,467^th in the world and 22^nd in The League for Rudest Citizens, with 135.29 insults per minute.