The United Socialist States of Cauchistan is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by István Yúgčade with an iron fist, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, anti-smoking policies, and free-roaming dinosaurs. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 1.202 billion Cauchistanis are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of St Cauchigrad. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 83.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Cauchistani economy, worth 176 trillion Krubles a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is fairly diversified, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an impressive 147,148 Krubles, with the richest citizens earning 9.1 times as much as the poorest.

Drug lords often avoid prison time by teaching "chemistry" classes to underprivileged youth, prisoners due for execution often use their final statement to complain about soggy bread rolls, gossip magazines have been replaced by mask catalogs, and murderers facing life in prison listen to long sermons on positive thinking. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cauchistan's national animal is the Wild Rock, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Atheism.

Cauchistan is ranked 200,341^st in the world and 395^th in Europeia for Largest Populations, with 1.20 billion capita.