The Zephyrs of Zerph is a mammoth, cultured nation, ruled by Crow Wononine with an even hand, and remarkable for its pith helmet sales, compulsory military service, and vat-grown people. The hard-nosed, democratic population of 5.218 billion Zerphii are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The medium-sized, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Defense. The average income tax rate is 48.8%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The large but inefficient Zerphii economy, worth 256 trillion zecks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, broadly diversified black market in Information Technology, Uranium Mining, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 49,106 zecks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.5 times as much as the poorest.

Cops in Zerph City spend much of their time napping on a park bench next to Embassy Row, children as young as twelve are conscripted into the armed forces, online weather reports are predicting five years of glorious sunshine for Zerph, and visiting the best Zerphii restaurants requires keeping a visa on file. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Zerph's national animal is the crow, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution.

Zerph is ranked 85,769^th in the world and 167^th in Starlight for Lowest Crime Rates, with 70.15 law-abiding acts per hour.