The Zephyrs of Zerph is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by Crow Wononine with an even hand, and notable for its compulsory military service, daily referendums, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, democratic population of 4.681 billion Zerphii are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The medium-sized, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Administration. The average income tax rate is 41.4%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The large but underdeveloped Zerphii economy, worth 201 trillion zecks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, broadly diversified black market in Information Technology, Uranium Mining, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 43,059 zecks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

The government is proudly free of crabs, Court TV ratings have skyrocketed now that executions are filmed on location, claiming that "my cousin said it was legal" is a common courtroom defense, and vegetables are crisper thanks to CRISPR. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Zerph's national animal is the crow, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution.

Zerph is ranked 249,253^rd in the world and 498^th in Starlight for Nicest Citizens, with 5.59 average smiles per day.