by Max Barry

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Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 110thMost Subsidized Industry: 1,091stMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1,564th
The Empire of
New York Times Democracy
We Ride Together, We Die Together
Firefighter Clemente
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Crazy Firemen

Population24.131 billion

LeaderFirefighter Clemente
FaithChurch of the Rising Phoenix


The Empire of Crazy Firemen is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Firefighter Clemente with a fair hand, and remarkable for its keen interest in outer space, complete lack of prisons, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, democratic, humorless, devout population of 24.131 billion Crazy Firemenians enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt, outspoken morass — juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Seagrave. The average income tax rate is 96.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Crazy Firemenian economy, worth a remarkable 3,605 trillion Brotherhoods a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Tourism, and Information Technology. Average income is an impressive 149,398 Brotherhoods, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Urban parents tell their children that the family car went to a farm upstate, new pilots are regularly reminded that they are more expendable than their planes, jury selection begins with explaining what a jury is, and drugs containing the compound "oleum de serpens" are being sold to cancer patients. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Crazy Firemen's national animal is the Phoenix, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Church of the Rising Phoenix.

Crazy Firemen is ranked 213,366th in the world and 4,725th in the Rejected Realms for Largest Trout Fishing Sector, scoring -13.8 on the Nemo Depletion Efficiency Index.

Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 110thMost Subsidized Industry: 1,091stMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1,564thLargest Black Market: 1,729thTop
Most Extensive Public Healthcare: 2,249thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 2,550thHighest Economic Output: 3,727thMost Beautiful Environments: 3,787thMost Advanced Public Transport: 3,850thHighest Average Tax Rates: 4,045thLowest Crime Rates: 4,259thMost Stationary: 4,391stMost World Assembly Endorsements: 4,560thMost Influential: 4,842ndLargest Populations: 4,903rdMost Corrupt Governments: 4,988thMost Advanced Public Education: 5,149thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 5,405thLargest Governments: 5,850thRudest Citizens: 5,899thMost Efficient Economies: 6,041stMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 6,766thHighest Poor Incomes: 7,528thLongest Average Lifespans: 7,905thMost Developed: 8,223rdBest Weather: 8,633rdMost Devout: 8,751stMost Cultured: 8,876thMost Valuable International Artwork: 9,329thSafest: 10,018thTop
Smartest Citizens: 12,483rdHighest Food Quality: 13,021stHighest Average Incomes: 14,400thHealthiest Citizens: 14,471stMost Patriotic: 17,025th
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 4th in the regionMost Stationary: 25th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 31st in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 42nd in the regionMost Influential: 44th in the regionTop
Largest Black Market: 50th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 75th in the regionLargest Populations: 78th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 79th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 80th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 99th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 107th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 108th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 120th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 125th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 125th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 143rd in the regionRudest Citizens: 151st in the regionLargest Governments: 157th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 176th in the regionMost Developed: 194th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 206th in the regionMost Cultured: 208th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 209th in the regionSafest: 222nd in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 223rd in the regionBest Weather: 229th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 235th in the regionTop
Most Devout: 275th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 283rd in the regionHighest Food Quality: 289th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 322nd in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 364th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 456th in the regionMost Patriotic: 477th in the region

National Happenings

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