by Max Barry

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Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 69th Most Subsidized Industry: 655th Largest Black Market: 755th
The Empire of
Father Knows Best State
We Ride Together, We Die Together
Regional Influence
Apprentice
Civil Rights
Below Average
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Few

Overview Factbook People Government Economy Rank Trend

The Empire of Crazy Firemen is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Firefighter Clemente with an iron fist, and renowned for its infamous sell-swords, sprawling nuclear power plants, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 14.823 billion Crazy Firemenians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Seagrave. The average income tax rate is 92.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Crazy Firemenian economy, worth a remarkable 1,981 trillion Brotherhoods a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Tourism. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 133,703 Brotherhoods, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.9 times as much as the poorest.

Male friends are often accompanied by a female relative in order to prove their 'straightness', large sections of Crazy Firemen have been named national reserves to protect the native tribes living there, army uniforms are replaced en masse to accommodate adult soldiers, and cub scouts are being asked to hand in their woggles as the state withdraws funding for scouting. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Crazy Firemen's national animal is the Phoenix, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Crazy Firemen is ranked 176,391st in the world and 3,468th in the Rejected Realms for Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector, scoring -27.13 on the Henry Ford Productivity Index.

Top
1%
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 69thMost Subsidized Industry: 655thLargest Black Market: 755thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1,562ndMost Efficient Economies: 1,716thTop
5%
Most Corrupt Governments: 2,719thMost Influential: 3,761stMost World Assembly Endorsements: 3,816thHighest Economic Output: 4,296thMost Devout: 4,402ndLowest Crime Rates: 5,139thMost Beautiful Environments: 6,516thLargest Populations: 6,629thHighest Average Tax Rates: 7,293rdMost Stationary: 7,782ndHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 8,159thLargest Governments: 8,436thTop
10%
Most Developed: 8,928thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 9,274thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 9,349thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 9,964thLongest Average Lifespans: 10,969thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 10,991stMost Advanced Public Transport: 13,950thHighest Poor Incomes: 15,099thHighest Average Incomes: 15,603rdHealthiest Citizens: 16,187thSafest: 17,795thMost Advanced Public Education: 17,835th
Top
1%
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 2nd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 21st in the regionLargest Black Market: 22nd in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 33rd in the regionTop
5%
Most Influential: 37th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 38th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 44th in the regionMost Stationary: 70th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 74th in the regionMost Devout: 83rd in the regionLargest Populations: 94th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 97th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 101st in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 112th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 122nd in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 126th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 147th in the regionMost Developed: 153rd in the regionLargest Governments: 153rd in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 172nd in the regionTop
10%
Most Extensive Public Healthcare: 183rd in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 183rd in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 184th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 233rd in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 239th in the regionSafest: 242nd in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 252nd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 290th in the regionBest Weather: 291st in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 297th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 315th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Crazy Firemen was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Developed and the Top 10% for Safest.
  • : Crazy Firemen was endorsed by The Absolut Empire of Hitsu.
  • : Following new legislation in Crazy Firemen, cub scouts are being asked to hand in their woggles as the state withdraws funding for scouting.
  • : Following new legislation in Crazy Firemen, army uniforms are replaced en masse to accommodate adult soldiers.
  • : Following new legislation in Crazy Firemen, large sections of Crazy Firemen have been named national reserves to protect the native tribes living there.
  • : Following new legislation in Crazy Firemen, male friends are often accompanied by a female relative in order to prove their 'straightness'.
  • : Following new legislation in Crazy Firemen, government officials frown on anything more technologically advanced than an abacus.
  • : Following new legislation in Crazy Firemen, troops are either deafened by gunfire or a hysterical voice screaming the Party manifesto.
  • : Following new legislation in Crazy Firemen, the government is spending millions on renovating the public transportation system.
  • : Following new legislation in Crazy Firemen, politicians accepting drinks in bars are executed for taking bribes.

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