The Empire of Crazy Firemen is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Firefighter Clemente with an even hand, and notable for its avant-garde cinema, compulsory military service, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 15.367 billion Crazy Firemenians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The enormous, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Seagrave. The average income tax rate is 92.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Crazy Firemenian economy, worth a remarkable 2,127 trillion Brotherhoods a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Tourism, and Book Publishing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 138,468 Brotherhoods, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.0 times as much as the poorest.

Sneezing pedestrians are grabbed by alley-lurking doctors, the derisively named "Morlocks of Moria" futilely demand time in the sun, Crazy Firemen's free colleges struggle to maintain standards in the face of overwhelming demand, and the voyages of obsolete star-trekking satellites on deliberate escape orbits are only just beginning. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Crazy Firemen's national animal is the Phoenix, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Crazy Firemen is ranked 32,867^th in the world and 842^nd in the Rejected Realms for Most Authoritarian, with 0.75 Stalins.