The Democratic Republic of Cortlandia is a mammoth, genial nation, ruled by Kharnell with an even hand, and notable for its daily referendums, ubiquitous missile silos, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, devout population of 9.696 billion Cortlandians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Mistigan. The average income tax rate is 96.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Cortlandian economy, worth a remarkable 2,122 trillion Burgo Cortelândeses a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Basket Weaving. Average income is an amazing 218,856 Burgo Cortelândeses, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

Mall countdown clocks warn that there are only 364 more shopping days until Maxxmas, the government denies that it has an agency overseeing plausible deniability of black-ops agencies, guilt tripped foreigners heavily dictate child hunger in Cortlandia, and the question "please would you...?" is usually laden with passive aggression. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cortlandia's national animal is the Dragões Cavernosos, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Cortlandia is ranked 304,216^th in the world and 190^th in The Kodiak Republic for Fattest Citizens, with 3.43 Obesity Rate.