The Noodleness of Haley Ramen is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Nice and Loveyness Empress Haley Alcott with an iron fist, and remarkable for its keen interest in outer space, otherworldly petting zoo, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, cheerful, devout population of 23.467 billion Haleys are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Britannia. The average income tax rate is 99.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Haley Ramenian economy, worth a remarkable 4,657 trillion Noodles a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Automobile Manufacturing, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an impressive 198,467 Noodles, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.2 times as much as the poorest.

New arrivals are asked the location of the Minister of the Interior's birthmark, children gain their first sex education from reading the dictionary, most of the population has had bad experiences with hoes, and centuries-old marble buildings are being torn down and replaced with corrugated steel wind tunnels. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Haley Ramen's national animal is the Kawaii Finny-Tan, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Haley Loviness.

Haley Ramen is ranked 5,833^rd in the world and 130^th in the Rejected Realms for Highest Food Quality, scoring 196.37 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.