The Despotic Tyranny of Birkesia is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Supreme Generalissimo of Tyranny with an iron fist, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, anti-smoking policies, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 6.196 billion Birkesians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tyrannopolis. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 92.6%.

The all-consuming Birkesian economy, worth a remarkable 1,365 trillion scraps of paper a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Furniture Restoration, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 220,363 scraps of paper, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 720,308 per year while the poor average 50,675, a ratio of 14.2 to 1.

Soldiers on first dates introduce themselves only by their ranks and serial numbers, no personal detail is too tiny for the suede-denim census police, economic planning is exalted as a human art form, and friendly fire incidents usually result in severe burns. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Birkesia's national animal is the dragon, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is DEAREST LEADERISM.

Birkesia is ranked 3,928^th in the world and 24^th in Psychotic Dictatorships for Most Corrupt Governments, with 257.45 kickbacks per hour.