The Libertarian Republic of Thenium is a colossal, efficient nation, remarkable for its ubiquitous missile silos, absence of drug laws, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 2.634 billion Theneans live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The tiny, corrupt, pro-business government is primarily concerned with Industry, although Administration, Defense, and Law & Order are also considered important, while Welfare and Spirituality aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Thenirion. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 4.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Thenean economy, worth 411 trillion Thims a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Gambling. Average income is an impressive 156,366 Thims, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 821,109 per year while the poor average 15,921, a ratio of 51.6 to 1.

Relations with Dàguó have warmed from frosty to chilly, the government has cut its subsidies for all special interest groups, stale 'yo mamma' insults have been replaced by 'your maternal DNA' insults, and the pursuit of wanted criminals ends at the entrance of the pay'n'spray garage as police refuse to enter any private property. Crime, especially youth-related, is pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Thenium's national animal is the rattlesnake, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Freedom.

Thenium is ranked 3,341^st in the world and 24^th in Capitalist Paradise for Fattest Citizens, with 34.65 Obesity Rate.