The 32 Billion Shameless S O B's of FASTERCAT is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Charlton Heston with an even hand, and renowned for its otherworldly petting zoo, frequent executions, and keen interest in outer space. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cheerful, devout population of 32.772 billion Ethnic Felines are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The tiny, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Nazareth. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient FASTERCATian economy, worth a remarkable 9,755 trillion Duckies a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Retail, Book Publishing, and Information Technology. Average income is an amazing 297,686 Duckies, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.1 times as much as the poorest.

Birthday parties feature more pop quizzes than piñatas, the latest Orange tablet's new peeling surface keeps the device always fresh, commercial pop radio occasionally features raccoon birthing sounds, and emergency responders spend more time in the air than giving air. Crime, especially youth-related, is pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. FASTERCAT's national animal is the double breasted mattress thrasher, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is TedNugentism.

FASTERCAT is ranked 325,797^th in the world and 57^th in Capitalist Paradise for Nicest Citizens, with 0.28 average smiles per day.