The Where did all of you go of Talvistova is a titanic, orderly nation, ruled by Oskar III Raikkonen with an iron fist, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, fear of technology, and compulsory gun ownership. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 11.179 billion Talvistovans are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ljustad. The average income tax rate is 67.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Talvistovan economy, worth 981 trillion Kronigs a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. Average income is 87,760 Kronigs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The nation's weary schoolchildren excel at sport but must count scores on their fingers, serial killers are the country's biggest import, a faint smell of body odour can be detected at several miles' distance from the National Science Park, and shelters struggle to keep up with the endless intake of stray animals. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Talvistova's national animal is the Reindeer, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Sabbatism.

Talvistova is ranked 281,818^th in the world and 118^th in The Western Isles for Largest Trout Fishing Sector, scoring -6.2 on the Nemo Depletion Efficiency Index.