by Max Barry

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Moldavia RMB

WA Delegate: None.

Founder: The Dominion of Shrewtopia

Last WA Update:

Board Activity History Admin Rank

Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 166th Largest Black Market: 273rd Highest Economic Output: 283rd+22
Fattest Citizens: 351st Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 371st Most Advanced Defense Forces: 451st Most Advanced Public Transport: 454th Most Avoided: 613th Highest Unexpected Death Rate: 664th Most Politically Apathetic Citizens: 715th Largest Populations: 765th Highest Disposable Incomes: 819th Largest Mining Sector: 1,052nd Most Extensive Public Healthcare: 1,101st Largest Soda Pop Sector: 1,143rd Largest Governments: 1,178th Largest Gambling Industry: 1,343rd Highest Average Incomes: 1,502nd Most Beautiful Environments: 1,509th Most Corrupt Governments: 1,536th Most Influential: 1,573rd Highest Wealthy Incomes: 1,715th Largest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1,725th Most Secular: 1,935th Largest Retail Industry: 2,089th
World Factbook Entry

Moldavia bears the scars of many invasions which fortunately blend seamlessly into many more self inflicted scars of constant warfare. Victory paintings hang from every upright tree (which isn't that many tbh) depicting the muscular, well oiled bodies of our hot pants clad invaders (think Bros crossed with Right Said Fred) being driven from our lands. Somewhere, a bird sings.

Speaking of, the stats for the invasions of Moldavia to failed invasions of Moldavia remain the same.

Invasions: 5
Moldavian Victories: 5
Notable Invadees: LKE

Sadly due to the nefarious activities of our enemies (and perhaps the site going under) our glorious Linkguide book! is not available.

Read about the Glorious History of Moldavia.

Embassies: Land of King Kongs and Emperor Penguins and New Roman Imperium.

Tags: Anarchist, Minuscule, Post Apocalyptic, Silly, and Surreal.

Moldavia contains 4 nations.

Today's World Census Report

The Largest Gambling Industry in Moldavia

The World Census tailed known underworld figures in order to determine which nations have the largest gambling industries.

As a region, Moldavia is ranked 1,343rd in the world for Largest Gambling Industry.

NationWA CategoryMotto
1.The Jingoistic Policies of PhthisisFather Knows Best State“In Vino Veritas”
2.The Dominion of ShrewtopiaFather Knows Best State“In Shrewtopia, everyone is well”
3.The Republic of PupaphobiaFather Knows Best State“No strings attached”
4.The Republic of Rebel RobotInoffensive Centrist Democracy“From Many, One”

Regional Happenings


Moldavia Regional Message Board

Phthisis is saddened to report the untamed ramblers have been delayed at gate 007. The glue appears to be holding, and the ramblers got very confused by this unyielding gate. Phthisis will make a note to send untamed ramblers with a ladder next time. On a lighter note, Phthisis can report the the stranded untamed ramblers lit a campfire and started singing 'uplifting' songs which enticed the exiles from Pupaphobia to join in. Phthisis has informed that this merriment may have gone too far and certain enhancers may haven used. The last report from the untamed ramblers was rather garbled, but Phthisis definitely heard 'oh it does taste like chicken'. Phthisis doesn't understand what tastes like chicken, but the phthisisian advisor states that there is nothing to worry about.

A new Embassy may be constructed. Even now our messenger shrews burrow through TIME AND SPACE to deliver this request. Although TIME AND SPACE may look somewhat like the number 12 bus out of Moldavian Rad Waste 501 (just south of the Shrewzilla tertiary trench - seriously, where is that thing?) we assure you that is way more technologocolly (is that a word?) than that and you must all bow to out tech superiority although we wouldn't mind a dictionary if you have one, analogue is fine as our power went out and the generator is making unpleasant sounds.

Gate 007 was forgotten about also and although we had totally planned to carpet bomb it within the 4 week window as mentioned by Pupaphobia we did not. Still, it's only about twice or three times that so how bad could it have got?

ALL IS (probably) WELL!

The glorious armies of Pupaphobia are somewhat occupied with what is being dubbed 'Gate 007 Licence to be eaten if you are on the other side of it'. Said gate is no longer the classic slatted boards whimsically nailed together by a farmer in a bygone age of peace and prosperity but is now somewhat reminiscent of a heavily fortified battle bunker complex one might find securing a vital choke hold on the approach to Helsreach Hive (of Armageddon fame). We are shelling everything within a 2km range of said 'fence' but they still keep coming.

We have trebuched several 'dictionaries' over to Shrewtopia but they may resemble green bottles full of petrol which are also on fire.

We saw mecha shrewzilla the other day but he was getting all bit off of zombies so let's hope nothing comes of that.

Noble Moldavians! This is a time of turmoil in our (gamma radiation bathed) green lands and although you may look out of your windows and see what appears to be a 'roided up, possibly undead, Kaiju made out of a blend of cutting edge bio-tech and some Duplo all frothing at the mouth and screaming BRAAAAINS at the top of it's voice what you actually see is a metaphor for something much more benign and nice. What is that metaphor? There is no time to explain that as our Metaphor-ologists are all manning the anti-Kaiju cannons.

There is good news to be had however as the ONE HUNDRED PERCENT BENEVOLENT Shrews of Shrewtopia have just opened the embassy with some other guys who are listed in the news bit. They too have gotton oppressed off of the LKE chumps and are no fans of our very own mascot, none other than Hot Spud Arr! Onder, a man (presumably) whose humour and wisdom knows no bounds and who surely brings joy to all who meets him, on account of his excellent wit, humour and grace*.

I entreat you to speak to our Embassy friends and Onder if you get the chance. He's bound to be lonely, what with all things considered.

ALL IS WELL! (except for the horrific casualties caused by MechaZed Shrewzilla)

*citation needed


The scribes of Shrewtopia scrolled up and can report the Embassy is with New_Roman_Imperium

Oh we can write stuff in here now can we? Well, we are erecting a wall of magic to keep out your antics. We (there's only me but I guess my citizen wizards pluralise things) don't want whatever the hell that zombie thing is turning up in Land of King Kongs and Emperor Penguins thank you very much.

Phthisis must apologise for the temporary existential crisis that Phthisis had recently suffered from. Phthisis was too occupied with Gate 007- gate that a badly placed cup of coffee was knocked over and in the rush to not mark the latest edition of 'B'etches in the Wild' (a fine publication of the famous phthisisian dancers travelling around Phthisis, and certainly not going to other states leaving 'gifts') the big red button was accidentally pressed.

Phthisis is concerned by the reports of Kaiju walking (more like stomping) near the Phthisisian borders. To prevent any panic or destruction of Phthisisian property, groups of volunteers have been rounded ... assembled and will walk very slowly towards Kaiju with open arms of friendship (and backpacks of rather powerful explosives).


Shrewtopia is encouraged by the return of Phthisis as we had feared destruction at the tiny/massive (we haven't got close enough to check) paws of MechaZedShrewzilla. As this is not the case and as our history books clearly record the fault of this current crisis to be not ours we are sending frogmen (literal frog men. Our science teams excelled themselves) into the canals and streams of Phthisis carrying what are most certainly NOT WATER ACTIVATED BOMBS so you should just let them set it all up and then gather around to watch the <insert some plausible reason here for the dupes to read before transmitting>.

Shrewtopia did hear some alarming bangs coming from somewhere around Gate 007 and an an ominous shadow now bears down upon our green and pleasant land. Shrewtopia aims to send its own army of 'Peace Negotiators' to greet it but we are all out of stuff to make explosives with due to nothing to do with the aforementioned frogmen.

Our top minds are hard at work devising some other way to turn it around and send it back.


Shrewtopia would like to order 20 waterproof backpacks please. They should be sized to fit FrogMen. Oh hang on, they're all dead. Sized to fit normal sized men.


Greetings! I see that I have failed to introduce myself for some time now, I am the Emperor of the NRI, and I wish to say a warm, albeit late, thank you for creating this Embassy with us!

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