The Holy Empire of BrightonBurg is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Kaiser Janos II with an iron fist, and notable for its infamous sell-swords, frequent executions, and complete lack of prisons. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 34.462 billion BrightonBurgians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The minute, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government, or what there is of one, is solely concerned with Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Greater Brightonburg City. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient BrightonBurgian economy, worth an astonishing 16,273 trillion Gold or Silver Kronor a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Uranium Mining industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Woodchip Exports, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. Average income is an amazing 472,210 Gold or Silver Kronor, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,416,630 per year while the poor average 122,946, a ratio of 11.5 to 1.

It is illegal to have the wrong clock time showing on your microwave oven, government bureaucrats spend six hours per day justifying a six-hour workday, the government terminates employment with extreme prejudice, and police officers catch up on their paperwork while handing their caseload to PIs. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. BrightonBurg's national animal is the Wild Boar, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Orange Catholic.

BrightonBurg is ranked 70^th in the world and 1^st in One big Island for Fattest Citizens, with 99.01 Obesity Rate.