The Catholic King-Presidency of Israel Emirates is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by King-President Innocent XII with an even hand, and notable for its pith helmet sales, infamous sell-swords, and triple-decker prams. The hard-nosed, hard-working, devout population of 2.962 billion Christians of the Emirateses are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The medium-sized, corrupt, pro-business government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Częstochowa. The average income tax rate is 59.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Israel Emiratesian economy, worth 408 trillion Mannas a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Woodchip Exports, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an impressive 137,848 Mannas, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.4 times as much as the poorest.

Coco the Clown has been elected to the nation's parliament, children complain that school food is too flavorful, liberals and conservatives try to disqualify each other's candidates on the grounds that "their ideas would never work in the real world", and bored politicians often entertain themselves with games of Simon during important votes. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Israel Emirates's national animal is the Lamb, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Catholicism.

Israel Emirates is ranked 311,852^nd in the world and 313^th in Christians for Nicest Citizens, with 0.65 average smiles per day.