The Varangian Empire of Blandowia is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Emperor Einar Skjýörhållssøn I with an iron fist, and remarkable for its compulsory military service, public floggings, and zero percent divorce rate. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 7.315 billion Varangians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Skálðrfjörð. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 72.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Varangian economy, worth a remarkable 1,045 trillion Skjölls a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Beef-Based Agriculture. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 142,944 Skjölls, with the richest citizens earning 6.8 times as much as the poorest.

You can't make an omelet without breaking a few legs, police officers catch up on their paperwork while handing their caseload to PIs, aggravated apostrophe abusers are admonished and assaulted, and theft is considered to be okay if the crime happened a long time ago. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Blandowia's national animal is the Eagle, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Orthodox Christianity.

Blandowia is ranked 146,267^th in the world and 633^rd in Europe for Largest Trout Fishing Sector, scoring 1,178.79 on the Nemo Depletion Efficiency Index.