The Sharp Red Agony of Zahnschmerzen is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Sweet Tooth the Grimacing Man with an even hand, and renowned for its infamous sell-swords, punitive income tax rates, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, democratic population of 12.489 billion Zahnschmerzenians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The medium-sized, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Trockenheim. The average income tax rate is 70.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Zahnschmerzenian economy, worth a remarkable 1,581 trillion Zahns a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Information Technology, and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 126,647 Zahns, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Atheistic refugees haven't got a prayer of being granted asylum, the people are famous throughout the region for their perfect yellow teeth, children gain their first sex education from reading the dictionary, and reflection is vital for badly behaved politicians. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Zahnschmerzen's national animal is the Tooth Fairy, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Hygienic Dental Devotion.

Zahnschmerzen is ranked 17,010^th in the world and 895^th in Lazarus for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 53.38 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.