The Commonwealth of United States of Vietnam is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Đặng Văn Nông with a fair hand, and renowned for its pith helmet sales, keen interest in outer space, and ubiquitous missile silos. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 17.131 billion Vietnamese are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, liberal, socially-minded, outspoken government prioritizes Education, although Environment, Industry, and Welfare are also considered important, while Spirituality isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hanoi. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Vietnamese economy, worth a remarkable 6,764 trillion Vietnam Dong a year, is quite specialized and dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Tourism, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 394,886 Vietnam Dong, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Exam halls are littered with used needles and empty pill bottles, Đặng Văn Nông has been known to make speeches in fishing waders, the populace harbors a fierce hatred of the metric system, and the mood of raunchy movies is often ruined by the sound of babies crying. Crime is totally unknown. United States of Vietnam's national animal is the Water Buffalo, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

United States of Vietnam is ranked 290,019^th in the world and 5,431^st in the South Pacific for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring -32.29 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.