The Federal Republic of Maireland is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Francis Berkeley with a fair hand, and renowned for its frequent executions, absence of drug laws, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, devout population of 3.253 billion Mairelandians are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The tiny, corrupt, pro-business, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Defense, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of William Aster City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 3.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Mairelandian economy, worth 588 trillion dollars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Gambling, and Soda Sales. Average income is an impressive 180,800 dollars, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 882,885 per year while the poor average 21,288, a ratio of 41.5 to 1.

Inheritance tax has recently been abolished, citizens are regularly arrested in queues for 'loitering', people believe that if you teach a man to fish he won't buy fish from you any more, and the same 3253 social media bloggers always loudly and immediately agree with Francis Berkeley's every word on Twitcher. Crime is pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Maireland's national animal is the panther, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Christianity.

Maireland is ranked 272,114^th in the world and 9,826^th in Osiris for Most Primitive, scoring -255.97 on the Scary Big Number Scale.