The Defensive Shield of Conservator is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by MrConservator with an even hand, and notable for its keen interest in outer space, fear of technology, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, humorless population of 35.441 billion Conservatorians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Administration, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of ConservatorCity. The average income tax rate is 83.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Conservatorian economy, worth a remarkable 4,541 trillion shields a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, Retail, and Book Publishing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 128,155 shields, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.2 times as much as the poorest.

Children dream of becoming physicians and physicists, sneezing pedestrians are grabbed by alley-lurking doctors, the state considers itself the 'third parent' of every child in the nation, and a well-funded social safety net protects the unfortunate. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Conservator's national animal is the turtle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to heavy metals seepage into national waterways, and its national religion is Atheism.

Conservator is ranked 2,967^th in the world and 13^th in Nederland for Most Primitive, scoring 158.01 on the Scary Big Number Scale.