The Federal Republic of Calva is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Virginia Rodopoulos with a fair hand, and remarkable for its smutty television, otherworldly petting zoo, and complete absence of social welfare. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, cheerful population of 22.856 billion Calvans hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Agios Górtyna. The average income tax rate is 95.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Calvan economy, worth a remarkable 4,938 trillion Goas a year, is quite specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Furniture Restoration. Average income is an amazing 216,080 Goas, with the richest citizens earning 8.3 times as much as the poorest.

Calva has been greatly criticised for its isolationist policies, feuilletons can only be deciphered with a Galliennais dictionary, drug deals return to the streets as legions of undercover officers stalk the dark web, and Calvan police have to pay out of their own pockets for bulletproof vests. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Calva's national animal is the Bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Greek Orthodox.

Calva is ranked 281,194^th in the world and 156^th in The Glorious Nations of Iwaku for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring -12.65 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.