The United Empire of Hyponichtmallieturam is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Emperor Noel the III with an iron fist, and renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, pith helmet sales, and compulsory military service. The compassionate, cynical, humorless population of 11.881 billion Hyponians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The enormous, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Wellington. The average income tax rate is 96.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Hyponichtian economy, worth a remarkable 2,035 trillion Hypon Turams a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 171,324 Hypon Turams, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The media seems excessively interested in what Emperor Noel the III is wearing this season, Emperor Noel The III reduces citizens' commute times by giving away their homes, future leaders of Hyponichtmallieturam regularly dismiss pressing political issues when available options don't conform to their worldview, and forgetting to pay your annual passport bill is a leading cause of deportations. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Hyponichtmallieturam's national animal is the Cow, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Tulipism.

Hyponichtmallieturam is ranked 261,628^th in the world and 6,266^th in the Rejected Realms for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 42.18 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.