The Disputed Territories of Goldnation is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by Bob Loblaw with an even hand, and renowned for its smutty television, national health service, and hatred of cheese. The compassionate, cheerful population of 3.421 billion Goldies are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Belleville. The average income tax rate is 93.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Goldnationian economy, worth 441 trillion bullions a year, is highly specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing and Tourism. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 129,120 bullions, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

The country's population is reported with a margin of error of several billions, airport users are more worried about radiation than terrorism, kindergartners' favourite dance move is the stop-drop-and-roll, and the law says it's okay to sell a bomb to a terrorist so long as they promise not to detonate it. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Goldnation's national animal is the mongoose, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Goldnation is ranked 293,462^nd in the world and 5,591^st in the South Pacific for Most Armed, with 0.12 weapons per person.