The Democratic Socialist Stoners of Vanzef is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Nuggs Squad with a fair hand, and notable for its national health service, anti-smoking policies, and labour-free parental leave. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 33.295 billion Stoners are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, socially-minded, outspoken morass — prioritizes Education, although Healthcare, Welfare, and Social Policy are also considered important, while Administration and Spirituality receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Trap. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Stoner economy, worth a remarkable 6,630 trillion Blunts a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Information Technology. Average income is an impressive 199,135 Blunts, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Confessions don't count if suffixed with "izzle", self-driving cars obey the road rules even during emergencies, 10-year-olds who struggle with integrating by parts are considered slow learners, and replacement organs are grown in vats. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Vanzef's national animal is the Sloth, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Vanzef is ranked 310,934^th in the world and 13,094^th in Osiris for Most Primitive, scoring -495.96 on the Scary Big Number Scale.