Wait a minute. What's this? We've already got a new candidate lined up? *Sigh* I knew a freshly shined Ban-Hammer was just too good to last. Well, lemme plug this baby in and we'll be ready to start ban-hammering in moments. Say the word, Lake of fur.

Feoras, Lake of fur, Zombie Penguins, and Pax Nerdvana

Lake of fur

4 years 65 days ago

Edited

Brocklandia wrote:

Probably. Everyone else is.

Not exactly everyone; there are a few exceptions, like people who have been banned from the Bar for various reasons.

Jseikel wrote:

Can I be here?

Technically, yes.

But, and don't be offended, if this is a nation of a player who has been told specifically not to be here, then no. It happens more often than you'd think. These are the kinds of players who spoil it for everyone else, requiring us to be constantly on our guard as they have little impulse control and do not respect the personal space of others.

Your question is odd but you nation does not have a history in the game beyond a couple of posts and one reply to your inquiry (in Confederation of Corrupt Dictators).

So, unless you have a reason why you shouldn't be here, what would you like to drink?

Brocklandia wrote:

Is it possible that this kind of talk was what our recently departed visitor was referring to when they said we 'flipped out on them like crazy'?

Feoras, Brocklandia, Pax Nerdvana, and Jseikel

The Zuper Zealous Zoologist of Zany Zanes

4 years 65 days ago

Pax Nerdvana wrote:

We have a gift shop? Since when?

All the best places have a gift shop.

Brocklandia, Lake of fur, Zombie Penguins, Pax Nerdvana, and 1 otherTercania islands

The Smash Hit Movie Version of Brocklandia

4 years 65 days ago

Zany Zanes wrote:

All the best places have a gift shop.

Yeah, but so do the worst places, like Graceland, most hospitals, and Newark International Airport. Your point?

Lake of fur, Zombie Penguins, Pax Nerdvana, Zany Zanes, and 1 otherTercania islands

The Smash Hit Movie Version of Brocklandia

4 years 65 days ago

Lake of fur wrote:

Is it possible that this kind of talk was what our recently departed visitor was referring to when they said we 'flipped out on them like crazy'?

Don't ask me. I don't remember doing any flips lately.

Lake of fur

The Working Class Warlock of John Constantine

4 years 65 days ago

Agora

John enters, takes a seat at the bar, and lights up a cigarette, assuming that there are no visible "No Smoking" signs. After studying the menu for a few minutes, he orders. "Could I get a pint of the Farmland ale and, before I order the Mystery Meat, has anyone mysteriously died or disappeared under suspicious circumstances either today or yesterday? I figure you lot only serve 'fresh' bodies."

Lake of fur, Pax Nerdvana, Tercania islands, and Lardastan

The Unified State of Kabravosk

4 years 65 days ago

Jseikel wrote:

Can I be here?

Hows the CCD doing? I left them about 3 months ago.

Lake of fur and Pax Nerdvana

Lake of fur

4 years 65 days ago

Edited

John Constantine wrote:

lights up a cigarette

Hey, smoke 'em if you got 'em.

John Constantine wrote:

"I figure you lot only serve 'fresh' bodies."

They are usually frozen fresh. We got a few stored in the back and the cook thaws them out and chops them up as needed. We don't serve just any old road kill.

*Draws a pint of Farmland Ale and sets it on a coaster in front of them*

Feoras, Pax Nerdvana, Zany Zanes, Tercania islands, and 1 otherJohn Constantine

Lardastan

4 years 65 days ago

John Constantine wrote:

"...has anyone mysteriously died or disappeared under suspicious circumstances either today or yesterday?"

It's no mystery; we know exactly how they died and who is the likely culprit.

Feoras, Lake of fur, Jehovahs witness, Pax Nerdvana, and 1 otherJohn Constantine

The Working Class Warlock of John Constantine

4 years 65 days ago

Agora

Lake of fur wrote:

Hey, smoke 'em if you got 'em.
They are usually frozen fresh. We got a few stored in the back and the cook thaws them out and chops them up as needed. We don't serve just any old road kill.

*Draws a pint of Farmland Ale and sets it on a coaster in front of them*

I think I might pass on the Mystery Meat then... How 'bout just the fish and chips then?

Lardastan wrote:

It's no mystery; we know exactly how they died and who is the likely culprit.

That would sound concerning in any other place, but here it's just another day. Maybe you should consider renaming the dish. "Murder Surprise"?

Lake of fur, Pax Nerdvana, Zany Zanes, and Lardastan

The Zuper Zealous Zoologist of Zany Zanes

4 years 65 days ago

Edited

Brocklandia wrote:

Yeah, but so do the worst places, like Graceland, most hospitals, and Newark International Airport. Your point?

Shrugs.

It was a Doctor Who reference. I had no point to make.

Lake of fur wrote:

Hey, smoke 'em if you got 'em.

If ya ain't gottem, then ya hit rock bottem.

Smoke ’em
Song by Fun Lovin' Criminals

_{https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=d8bpNNDAp3E}

Smoke 'em, smoke 'em, smoke 'em if ya gottem
If ya ain't gottem then ya hit rock bottem
Smoke 'em, smoke 'em, smoke 'em if ya gottem
If ya ain't gottem then ya hit rock bottem
Smoke 'em, smoke 'em, smoke 'em if ya gottem
If ya ain't gottem then ya hit rock bottem
Smoke 'em if ya gottem, smoke 'em if ya gottem
If ya ain't gottem then ya hit rock bottem
Hey muneka, I think I want to take ya
back to the lab, with my gift of gab
and a little dab'll do ya, maybe even school ya,
I'll rush your end zone like my man Don Shula
you're my four leaf clover even bending over;
I love you like rover; you're my little lawnmower
but, lower, lower, I'm the seed sower
the funky weed grower, the mad rap thrower.
See, I'm a man's man; do you understand?
What I'm giving ain't cocked in the palm of my hand.
So take the nasty plunge plaid not grunge.
I know it's really hard when you love someone. You always
stood by me like Spanky did Stymie and if anybody messes I'll
bust'em in the eye. And check that ass like Phil Esposito
the guido, U.P.S. next day back to Toledo.
Smoke 'em, smoke 'em, smoke 'em if ya gottem
If ya ain't gottem then ya hit rock bottem
Smoke 'em, smoke 'em, smoke 'em if ya gottem
If ya ain't gottem then ya hit rock bottem
Smoke 'em, smoke 'em, smoke 'em if ya gottem
If ya ain't gottem then ya hit rock bottem
Smoke 'em if ya gottem, Smoke 'em if ya gottem
If ya ain't gottem, well, well
Me and my Les Paul is out droppin' science
pocket full of blunts and a full carry license
never walking streets, lookin' past my shouler acting kinda bolder
since my dog got older;
I walked the walk and I aced the test
when I put the pressure on all your tendencies manifest
Half spick peckerwood talkin' to the dead
I'll break into your house and I'll smell your bed.
Smoke 'em, smoke 'em, smoke 'em if ya gottem
If ya ain't gottem then ya hit rock bottem
Smoke 'em, smoke 'em, smoke 'em if ya gottem
If ya ain't gottem then ya hit rock bottem
Smoke 'em, smoke 'em, smoke 'em if ya gottem
If ya ain't gottem then ya hit rock bottem
Smoke 'em if ya gottem, smoke 'em if ya gottem
If ya ain't gottem then ya hit rock bottem
Smoke 'em if ya gottem, smoke 'em if ya gottem
If ya ain't gottem then ya hit rock bottem
Smoke 'em if ya gottem, smoke 'em if ya gottem
If ya ain't gottem then ya hit rock bottem
Smoke 'em, smoke 'em, smoke 'em if ya gottem
If ya ain't gottem then ya hit rock bottem
Smoke 'em if ya gottem, smoke 'em if ya gottem
If ya ain't gottem then ya hit rock bottem

Lake of fur and Pax Nerdvana

Seriously sparkly vampires

4 years 65 days ago

The Dumpster Behind the Coffee Shop

*The vampiress pounces on the fresh corpse of Dimmsdale dimmadome on ice only to discover...*

Hey, this one's already frozen. Oh well, off to the microwave with you.

*She drags the body to the kitchen*

Feoras, Lake of fur, Zombie Penguins, and Pax Nerdvana

Lardastan

4 years 65 days ago

John Constantine wrote:

How 'bout just the fish and chips then?

The waiter brings fish and chips*

John Constantine wrote:

Maybe you should consider renaming the dish. "Murder Surprise"?

If it's expected, then it's not a surprise. We might consider changing the name to 'Homicide of the Day'.

Feoras, Lake of fur, Pax Nerdvana, Zany Zanes, and 1 otherJohn Constantine

East berlin state

4 years 65 days ago

Yipmens Donut Shop

Hello everyone! I am glad and thankful for my chance to judge this weeks poetry contest. Here are our finalists:
Honorable Mentions

Feoras wrote:

"Maurice" returns down the stairs with a scroll, which he hands to East berlin state. In elegant calligraphy, it reads:

Donut man is cool,
but sonnets are too hard, so
here is a haiku

Brocklandia wrote:

I don't have the patience for a sonnet, but here's my entry for the weekend poetry contest, in honor of East berlin state:
_____

East Berlin is the greatest judge ever
Because ze picked my poem as the best.

Third Place

Borg shakespeare wrote:

Okay, so it seems that we're doing haiku about sonnets about doughnuts.

Confusing, but no more so than anything else that happens in the Bar.

From behind the wall
A man we all know and love
For his great doughnuts

With nerdy sonnets
We raise our pens and compose
For East berlin state

Dispense with Spencer
We shove aside the great bard
Heed not Wordsworth

Our wits united
We write sonnets of faint praise
To his baking skills

But sonnets may fail
To capture what we wish told
Haiku is more bold

Second Place

Zombie Penguins wrote:

An actual sonnet for East berlin state
Who works at the donut shop
And thinks he's really great
Despite not owning a mop

He'll give a free donut to a cop
If it's something they deserve
He can always choose to stop
And refuse the right to serve

Another thing to observe
Is their rock and roll hall of fame
Which could give one the nerve
To say it's rather tame

But speaking as a zombie
He'd taste great dipped in coffee.

And, last but not least, our winner!

Jehovahs witness wrote:

The Witness, once again waking from paradoxical slumber, sighs and slaps a paper onto the bar, likely their poetry contest entry.

Enjoy, mhm.

'Ere lies an ode to a person
Of a profession most noble
Cashing in before things worsen
And health concerns go global

Serving donuts till one's immobile
They had a music poll once, I think
A fine being, fit to ennoble
While giving them a knowing wink

I'm ignorant of any possible kink
To be found in their personage, aye
Everything and the kitchen sink
Probably won't phase this guy

If they ask, I shall deliver
Schedule pending, and also liver

Thank you for all who participated! Second and first place were really close, but in the end, I dont think that I would want to be dipped in coffee!

Feoras, Brocklandia, Lake of fur, Zombie Penguins, and 5 othersJehovahs witness, Pax Nerdvana, Borg shakespeare, Zany Zanes, and Coup plotters

The Planetary Landmass of Pax Nerdvana

4 years 65 days ago

Rogue CONclave

Lake of fur wrote:

Cart them into the back and we'll add it to the inventory.

Pax begins pulling out cases of military surplus helmets and flak jackets. They look like they've been used in every war since 1960.Will these do?

Feoras, Lake of fur, Killerian, Tercania islands, and 1 otherAnacin

Anacin

4 years 65 days ago

Pax Nerdvana wrote:

Pax begins pulling out cases of military surplus helmets and flak jackets. They look like they've been used in every war since 1960.Will these do?

They're a little worn, Little is an understatment, but we can use them.

Feoras, Lake of fur, Pax Nerdvana, and Killerian

The Planetary Landmass of Pax Nerdvana

4 years 65 days ago

Rogue CONclave

Anacin wrote:

They're a little worn, Little is an understatment, but we can use them.

Sounds good. I also have some old gas masks as well, although I think the filters are shot.

Lake of fur, Killerian, and Tercania islands

Jehovahs witness

4 years 65 days ago

East berlin state wrote:

Hello everyone! I am glad and thankful for my chance to judge this weeks poetry contest. Here are our finalists:
Honorable Mentions
Third Place
Second Place
And, last but not least, our winner!

Thank you for all who participated! Second and first place were really close, but in the end, I dont think that I would want to be dipped in coffee!

East berlin state wrote:

Thank you for all who participated! Second and first place were really close, but in the end, I dont think that I would want to be dipped in coffee!

The Witness appreciatively stirs and nods in acknowledgement.

Thank ye kindly, my victory has been seen. A toast to me, and the local donut shop owner.

Next weekend's theme, you'll get the chance to describe any of your most notable creations in poetic form. Whether it be an item, a creature, some eldritch horror, a business, or some type of poison. Freeform style, do as you will.

Feoras, Lake of fur, Zombie Penguins, Borg shakespeare, and 2 othersZany Zanes, and Killerian