by Max Barry

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Zombie Penguins wrote:

*A zombie takes some tap water to the victim guest*

what is this so called "victim guest"

are they like oreos?

The Bar welcomes all of our new Embassies.

Songs you dont understand wrote:I think they are playing A-Pop

That's on the tour list, yeah. Jimmy here says that he'd rather hear some other things, and Eddie wants to play his guitar with overkill of pyrotechnics like always.

Brocklandia wrote:So let's see. That's a selection of German beers with unpronounceable names, poached eggs with unpronounceable ingredients, and a Rocka for you. Here you go.

The best way to pronounce German beer is with a single word: Prost!

Brocklandia wrote:And an order of fried pickles and hard cider for you. Hope the cider's hard enough for you--the roadies were using it this morning to hammer nails into the new stage.

Why spend the huge cost for carpenters when you can pay us for generally everything with all purpose cider? We can build anything and fix anything, except the sorry state of music these days. All your techno and rave sounds make my ears hurt more than a tween guitar solo with max distortion on the amps.

Following new legislation in Tercania Islands, traditional vegetarians are fuming over the introduction of vat-grown meat to the menu.
Hey we have that in the back! It's broken though, and we ran out of the uh, 'stuff' needed to grow more meat a while back.

YouTube Inc wrote:what is this so called "victim guest"
are they like oreos?

Yes, only with red filling instead.

Aredita wrote:Sorry about that. I'll take a water.

Zombie Penguins wrote:*A zombie takes some tap water to the victim guest*

And one message un-suppressed.

Puppet Tyranacility wrote:I need some more Ale, I think that the effects are starting to dull...
Is it just me or is that deity over there looking mighty fine
Aphrodite spits her drink out and looks away

Sounds like someone needs to work on better pick-up lines.

Brocklandia wrote:Sounds like someone needs to work on better pick-up lines.

Oh I know one! Lift!

Brocklandia wrote:Yes, only with red filling instead.

Can I have one?

Tercania Islands wrote:Oh I know one! Lift!

Uber!

Tercania Islands wrote:Can I have one?

Sure. Crack open the customer of your choice, and scoop out the tasty red filling inside. Here's a spoon.

Aredita wrote:Sorry about that. I'll take a water.

You are very brave. I will miss you, eh.

Maple Hockey Canadia wrote:You are very brave. I will miss you, eh.

No, you won't. They'll be recycled into the lunch special for at least the next three days. How can you miss 'em if they don't go away?

Serious Question: Are you going to Scarborough Fair?

Songs you dont understand wrote:Serious Question: Are you going to Scarborough Fair?

No, but if you go, remember me to one who lives there.

The weekend poetry contest has begun! Migrating Cheese will be judging freeform poems.

*The dog pounces on Agent paulene naudia and takes the body out back*

A slight clattering is heard as a trapdoor on the floor beneath a stool opens up up, with the Witness climbing out of it, grumpily brushing some soot and sticky liquid off themselves as they get back into the Bar. The trapdoor closes by itself as the Witness retakes their seat.

That took far longer than I wanted or expected. Perhaps it's best summarized in a poem.

There was once a broken trapdoor shaft
Filled with so many tentacles, t'was daft
Not from the spaghetti god, no
Or the eldritch deity you know
They came from accursed Tumblr witchcraft

Never subcontract your magic wards.. I'd like to order another Alfred Hick's now, please.

*A zombie gives Jehovahs Witness another barrel of moonshine*

Zombie Penguins wrote:*A zombie gives Jehovahs Witness another barrel of moonshine*

The Witness nods in thanks to the penguin and lifts up the barrel, starting to slowly chug away as usual, slipping into a nap even as they drank.

Lemme get some Brandy

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