The Kingdom of Telia is a tiny, safe nation, renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, compulsory military service, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 7 million Telians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Defense, and Law & Order. The average income tax rate is 26.0%.

The Telian economy, worth 431 billion solids a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Automobile Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Furniture Restoration, Book Publishing, and Woodchip Exports. Average income is 61,679 solids, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.8 times as much as the poorest.

Tower block residents are each held responsible for four square inches of front lawn, in life full of care there is no time to stop and stare, all telephone traffic is monitored for 'national security reasons', and soldiers' positions are given away by the glint of their bayonets. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Telia's national animal is the great skua, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.

Telia is ranked 93,442^nd in the world and 676^th in the West Pacific for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 992.43 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.