The Holy Empire of New New New Alabama is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by William Williams with an iron fist, and notable for its prohibition of alcohol, suspicion of poets, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 6.249 billion New New New Alabamans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Healthcare, and Industry also on the agenda, while Social Policy is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New New New Montgomery. The average income tax rate is 77.9%.

The frighteningly efficient New New New Alabaman economy, worth a remarkable 1,179 trillion Stepsisters a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 188,732 Stepsisters, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.8 times as much as the poorest.

Nobody expected the fruit inquisition, there is no such thing as an innocent fling in the New New New Alabaman military, casino tax breaks are even bigger than their jackpots, and nature reserves often contain artificial waterfalls and concrete paths. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. New New New Alabama's national animal is the Fried Chicken, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Jesus.

New New New Alabama is ranked 113,436^th in the world and 2,520^th in The North Pacific for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 2,183.9 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.