The August Bastion of Jaegerpondonia is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Jaeger Sylva with an even hand, and notable for its museums and concert halls, smutty television, and complete lack of prisons. The hard-nosed, humorless population of 4.701 billion Jaegerpondonians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Sylvania. The average income tax rate is 32.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Jaegerpondonian economy, worth a remarkable 1,070 trillion bits a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Retail, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 227,708 bits, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.9 times as much as the poorest.

You can be fired for dyeing grey hairs, the nation's hospitals are criticized for caring more about profits than patients, women complaining about lack of opportunity are told to "man up", and being sent to collections is more dangerous than ever. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Jaegerpondonia's national animal is the Earth Pony, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Invisible Pink Unicornism.

Jaegerpondonia is ranked 15,641^st in the world and 242^nd in 10000 Islands for Highest Food Quality, scoring 132.43 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.