The August Bastion of Jaegerpondonia is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by Jaeger Sylva with an even hand, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, pith helmet sales, and otherworldly petting zoo. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 3.447 billion Jaegerpondonians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Sylvania. The average income tax rate is 6.5%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Jaegerpondonian economy, worth 667 trillion bits a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Retail, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 193,767 bits, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.0 times as much as the poorest.

The best way to be heard in politics is to speak softly and carry a big comedy prop, the children of Jaegerpondonia are often remarked upon for their cheery attitude to extreme violence, candidates for public office painstakingly research their family trees to ensure their eligibility, and buses are widely regarded as the safest way to travel. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Jaegerpondonia's national animal is the Earth Pony, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Invisible Pink Unicornism.

Jaegerpondonia is ranked 36,034^th in the world and 149^th in 10000 Islands for Largest Furniture Restoration Industry, scoring 4,923.31 on the Spitz-Pollish Productivity Index.