The August Bastion of Jaegerpondonia is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by Jaeger Sylva with an even hand, and notable for its pith helmet sales, otherworldly petting zoo, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, humorless population of 4.606 billion Jaegerpondonians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Sylvania. The average income tax rate is 35.2%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Jaegerpondonian economy, worth a remarkable 1,038 trillion bits a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Retail, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 225,423 bits, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The only places to see Earth Ponies now are at local zoos, police officers have been re-kitted with designer uniforms and gold-plated handcuffs, Jaegerpondonia is notorious for its citizens' infidelity, and Jaeger Sylva's office has a newly installed Max-Man arcade game programmed by a 5th-grader. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Jaegerpondonia's national animal is the Earth Pony, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Invisible Pink Unicornism.

Jaegerpondonia is ranked 15,176^th in the world and 185^th in 10000 Islands for Lowest Crime Rates, with 94.02 law-abiding acts per hour.