The Colony of Farmea7 is a colossal, efficient nation, renowned for its pith helmet sales, prohibition of alcohol, and suspicion of poets. The compassionate, cynical, humorless, devout population of 7.853 billion Farmea7ians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Education. The average income tax rate is 69.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Farmea7ian economy, worth a remarkable 1,146 trillion marks a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 145,972 marks, with the richest citizens earning 5.2 times as much as the poorest.

Every new building project has to undergo a five-year environmental impact study before it can go ahead, traffic cops are puzzled to see that nobody exceeds the speed limits, teams of painters are converting road signs from horse lengths to kilometers, and politicians are often found scavenging bins at night to supplement their income. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Farmea7's national animal is the cobra, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Farmea7 is ranked 274,762^nd in the world and 10,233^rd in Lazarus for Most Primitive, scoring -277.13 on the Scary Big Number Scale.