The Principality of Epithemia is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Prince Phaila with an iron fist, and renowned for its ban on automobiles, punitive income tax rates, and stringent health and safety legislation. The cynical, devout population of 2.144 billion Epithemians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Healthcare, and Spirituality. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Pand. The average income tax rate is 62.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The strong Epithemian economy, worth 114 trillion gold rings a year, is led by the Pizza Delivery industry, with major contributions from Woodchip Exports, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Basket Weaving. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 53,570 gold rings, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

It's believed that women's brains will overheat if they think for themselves, begun the Clone Wars have, "Prince Phaila got your tongue?" has become a popular idiom, and Prince Phaila is quite hard to get a hold of. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Epithemia's national animal is the cobra, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Epithemia is ranked 233,004^th in the world and 599^th in Carcassonne for Most Armed, with 0.22 weapons per person.