The Empire of Ebonnium is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Emperor Zenoth with an even hand, and renowned for its ubiquitous missile silos, ritual sacrifices, and strictly enforced bedtime. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 25.663 billion Ebonniumians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and look forward to their next free and open election, to be held on an as-yet unannounced date.

The relatively small, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Stormlight. The average income tax rate is 22.5%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Ebonniumian economy, worth a remarkable 3,842 trillion Ebon Taelers a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Tourism. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 149,722 Ebon Taelers, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

Future leaders of Ebonnium regularly dismiss pressing political issues when available options don't conform to their worldview, when shaking hands with foreign leaders Emperor Zenoth wears an armoured gauntlet, Thomas the Spank Engine is the most popular and controversial children's show in the nation, and the only things written in the stars are arrest warrants for astrologers. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ebonnium's national animal is the Blackhorn, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Any and All Religions.

Ebonnium is ranked 183,183^rd in the world and 130^th in United Kingdom for Fattest Citizens, with 9.6 Obesity Rate.