The Democratic Republic of New Bulacan is a massive, genial nation, ruled by President Wally Hernandez with a fair hand, and remarkable for its keen interest in outer space, free-roaming dinosaurs, and national health service. The compassionate, democratic population of 4.344 billion New Bulacanians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, liberal, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Malolos City. The average income tax rate is 94.9%.

The frighteningly efficient New Bulacanian economy, worth 730 trillion New Bulacanian Pesos a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 168,104 New Bulacanian Pesos, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Babies are a small but significant export, the national colors help to make everyone look slimmer, physics lessons mostly involve talking about emotional management techniques, and the government is washing its hands of alleged corruption. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. New Bulacan's national animal is the New Bulacanian Eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Christianity.

New Bulacan is ranked 285,833^rd in the world and 5,258^th in the South Pacific for Most Corrupt Governments, with 0.53 kickbacks per hour.