The Lewd Commonwealth of Belsamiss is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Chieftain Artur Anysa with an iron fist, and remarkable for its anti-smoking policies, public floggings, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 20.842 billion Belsamissians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Arrayir. The average income tax rate is 74.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Belsamissian economy, worth a remarkable 2,545 trillion Quetas a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Tourism, Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 122,129 Quetas, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Arrayir's back alleys are rife with sausage eating, vaccinations are mandatory, cute fluffy little Chieftain Artur Anysas are increasingly popular exotic pets, and groups of three or more trees are cut down in the name of 'child safety'. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Belsamiss's national animal is the mole rat, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Violetism.

Belsamiss is ranked 275,258^th in the world and 10,129^th in Balder for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 34.88 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.