The Kingdom of EsensOA is a massive, socially progressive nation, renowned for its irreverence towards religion and absence of drug laws. The hard-working, democratic population of 1.444 billion EsensOAians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The tiny, liberal, outspoken government prioritizes Welfare, with Education and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Spirituality and Law & Order receive no funds. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 7.7%.

The strong EsensOAian economy, worth 65.2 trillion Ojirs a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is fairly diversified and led by the Pizza Delivery industry, with significant contributions from Cheese Exports, Uranium Mining, and Automobile Manufacturing. Average income is 45,186 Ojirs, with the richest citizens earning 5.6 times as much as the poorest.

Monocled merchants with funny accents are applying for EsensOAian citizenship in droves, soylent products are an expensive commodity due to a lack of volunteers, Leader has just been declared ruler of EsensOA in an international press conference, and EsensOA has designated EsensOA City as its capital city. Crime is a problem, probably because of the absence of a police force. EsensOA's national animal is the Phoenix, which can occasionally be seen dodging aircraft in the nation's cities.

EsensOA is ranked 152,480^th in the world and 4,987^th in Osiris for Most Primitive, scoring -55.23 on the Scary Big Number Scale.