The Don't Trust Anyone of Laizenstire is a colossal, efficient nation, remarkable for its frequent executions, public floggings, and parental licensing program. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 4.788 billion Laizenstireans are free to succeed or fail in life on their own merits; the successful tend to enjoy an opulent (but moralistic) lifestyle, while the failures can be seen crowding out most jails.

The tiny, pro-business government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order is also considered important, while International Aid and Spirituality aren't funded at all. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 6.1%.

The thriving Laizenstirean economy, worth 290 trillion Caivoes a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is fairly diversified and led by the Automobile Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Trout Farming, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is 60,569 Caivoes, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 212,471 per year while the poor average 12,527, a ratio of 17.0 to 1.

Muscular women are banned from competing in sporting competitions, clergy who start talking about politics are forced to take a holy vow of silence, nocturnal light pollution is mostly blue, and discarded pennies litter the streets. Crime is moderate, possibly because it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many regulations. Laizenstire's national animal is the Grim Reaper.

Laizenstire is ranked 118,997^th in the world and 10^th in MJT for Most Primitive, scoring -30.82 on the Scary Big Number Scale.