The Laser-Wielding Commune of Intergalactic Penguins is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Arthur C Squawk with a fair hand, and remarkable for its unlimited-speed roads, soft-spoken computers, and smutty television. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 26.289 billion Intergalactic Penguins hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The relatively small, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of the Pillar of Winter. The average income tax rate is 70.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Intergalactic Penguinist economy, worth a remarkable 7,534 trillion Babelfish a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing and Tourism. Average income is an amazing 286,594 Babelfish, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Politicians tend to speak more loudly and slowly these days, therapists dispense hugs for heroin dealers and cuddles for crackheads, the nation turns a blind eye to human rights abuses in its quest for athletic supremacy, and several citizens have complained about scientists abducting their pets for experimentation. Crime is totally unknown. Intergalactic Penguins's national animal is the Squidmoth, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Hothism.

Intergalactic Penguins is ranked 129,996^th in the world and 11^th in Pony Lands for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring 109.43 on the Clooney Contribution Index.