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thats means your are collecting them?
I have smelted every one I've come across down and reforged them into proper coins.
You've made them into a love charm
What angel wakes me from my flowery bed?
🌷🎵🌷🌸🌷🩷🌷🌸🌷🎵🌷
I pray thee, gentle mortal, sing again:
Mine ear is much enamour'd of thy note;
So is mine eye enthralled to thy shape;
And thy fair virtue's force perforce doth move me
On the first view to say, to swear, I love thee.
Treasonable poetry, trip to the gulag for you. Mr Burns
Frozen roses keep arriving at my door. A very nice lady delivers them, we are going out on a date tonight.
Wishful thinking if you imagine they are from me. If they are from some other witch, I can only hope that she turns you to stone when she gets the chance.
Good evening your worship, my name is Irene Grouse and this is my trusty sidekick and henchman, Lizard R. Burns. Do you have a mystery in need of unravelling? Frozen roses arriving from unknown destinations? Say the word, and for a negligible sum of gold coins, your case will be investigated. Ask us about our top priority rates.
There is no such thing as a negligible sum of gold coins. So you have a choice investigate for free or investigate headlessly.
The royal axeman is standing by.
Oh no it was me 👀! You have a special trip coming! I can’t tell you what it is though 🤫
Bloody hell, our generous fee may be slipping through our fingers before we even get around to starting the investigation.
Lizard! You go interview the suspicious individual who volunteered a confession. Are they screening somebody? Then go search for footprints, handprints, fingerprints, leopard prints, you know the drill.
I'll interview the royal axeman. Mr Axeman! May I ax you a question?
Looking forward to my special trip.
Carefully how you speak to my axeman, sharp fellow that
Yet more witch flowers arrived, Need another wheelie bin, Cant bring them indoors as it freezes the house.
Is there not a dating app for witches?
hag.com, wartmeets.co.uk
Room on the broom.net
In yesterday's snap election, I was again claimed 100% of the vote.
Turnout was very low despite a 30 second warning about the election.
Actually turnout was 100% given that I'm the only person deemed suitable to vote.
And somehow you managed to vote over 400 times. Curious.
This just in!
Crazymonkey has been determined that majority of the population wants you blasted into outer space. The vote was 100% with 1 vote casted!! What a great turn out!
Thats because Im 400 time better than you, stop sending flowers
If you dont like it free trips to space are available, go out and build a new life with the rest of the 'just stop O2' brigade.
My mistake, I thought you were allergic. I'll stop sending them.
Im allergic to witch flowers, most people are.
Sends a mysterious gift of witch flowers 💐
Once upon a time, in the whimsical realm of Yorkshire, ruled by the eccentric and somewhat nutty Crazymonkey, a decree was issued that shook the very trees of the kingdom: acorns were outlawed! This unprecedented edict was not without its reasons; the Crazymonkey believed acorns cluttered his kingdom with their unpredictability - one day they were innocuous little seeds, and the next, they sprouted into vast oaks without so much as a "by your leave."
This ban did not sit well with Korasky, the Monkey Prince, known far and wide for his luxurious acorn-studded crown and his love for acorn tea at precisely three o'clock each afternoon. Distraught and somewhat peckish without his acorn fix, Korasky sought the counsel of the only creature believed to be more powerful and, arguably, more eccentric than the Crazymonkey himself - the White Witch of Yorkshire, a master of culinary magic and the only being who could turn an acorn into a feast or a flying carpet, depending on her mood.
Together, they concocted a plan so audacious, so utterly bonkers, that it could only have sprung from the minds of a desperate acorn aficionado and a witch who once turned a badger into a teapot for back-talking.
Their plan? To launch the Crazymonkey into space using nothing but the sheer force of acorns. How, you ask? Through the mystical and highly explosive acorn cannon, a marvel of witch-engineering and monkey ingenuity, fueled by the very acorns the Crazymonkey had outlawed.
The day of the grand "blast-off" arrived under the guise of celebrating the first-ever "Festival of the Flying Monkey." The Crazymonkey, ever so flattered by the attention and the promise of a statue in his honor (made from acorns, naturally), attended the festivities with all the pomp and circumstance befitting a ruler of his caliber.
As the cannon was unveiled, the Crazymonkey's curiosity turned to alarm, but it was too late. With a spark of magic from the White Witch, a cheer from Korasky, and a chorus of monkey hoots from the audience, the acorn cannon roared to life. The last thing the Crazymonkey saw before the world became a blur was a sea of acorns, as if the very sky rained the forbidden nuts.
Propelled by the power of the banned seed, the Crazymonkey soared higher and higher, past the clouds, past the birds, and straight into the starry embrace of space, where, legend has it, he rules a new kingdom on a moon made entirely of acorns.
Back in Yorkshire, Korasky was hailed as a hero, and the White Witch, as a genius. Acorns were no longer banned but celebrated, and the Festival of the Flying Monkey became an annual event where everyone, young and old, would wear their finest acorn hats and share tales of the day the Crazymonkey was blasted into a nutty orbit, a reminder that in Yorkshire, anything is possible with a little bit of magic and a lot of acorns.
Meanwhile, Crazy monkey meets the crew of the starship enterprise, bribes Scotty with Yorkshire pudding recipes and prepares to be beamed down back to Yorkshire. tune in next week to boldly go where no monkey has gone before.
Korasky is given a red tunic to wear at the festival.
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