The Republic of Russian Federal Republic is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, irreverence towards religion, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 26.805 billion Russian Federal Republicians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, liberal, socially-minded morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Welfare. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Russian Federal Republician economy, worth a remarkable 5,220 trillion Rubles a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is extremely specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 194,751 Rubles, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

4-year-olds are often found reminiscing about the 'good old days', hypochondriacs demand treatment for genetic disorders they don't have, sales of trenchcoats are on the rise, and fixing attendance at women's matches is a matter of "when they go low, we go high... funding". Crime is totally unknown. Russian Federal Republic's national animal is the Anthem of the Russian Federation, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Russian Federal Republic is ranked 2,222^nd in the world and 86^th in Osiris for Safest, scoring 145.88 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.