The Paste Factory Orphans of Deadcatistan is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Elongated Muskrat with an even hand, and remarkable for its rum-swilling pirates, keen interest in outer space, and public floggings. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 23.817 billion Deadcatistanians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small, corrupt government prioritizes Defense, although Industry, Education, and Law & Order are also considered important, while Spirituality and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Megacity One. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 8.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Deadcatistanian economy, worth a remarkable 8,018 trillion tears of orphans a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Retail, and Soda Sales. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 336,655 tears of orphans, with the richest citizens earning 7.4 times as much as the poorest.

Political commentators say that Elongated Muskrat's fruitcake plans are about to go pear-shaped, basic multiplication is all you need to know to have a child, the contraband cigarette trade is lighting up across Deadcatistan, and scientists regularly clone human beings for research purposes. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Deadcatistan's national animal is the bearded hipster, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is the timeless wisdom of Billy Mays.

Deadcatistan is ranked 88,663^rd in the world and 2,015^th in the Rejected Realms for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring 298.73 on the Clooney Contribution Index.