The Ⓐⓤⓣⓞⓝⓞⓜⓞⓤⓢ Ⓐⓖⓡⓐⓡⓘⓐⓝ Ⓒⓞⓜⓜⓤⓝⓔⓢ of Baldwin Park is a colossal, socially progressive nation, ruled by Ⓤⓝⓘⓞⓝ Ⓛⓔⓐⓓⓔⓡ Ⓑⓔⓝ Ⓖ Ⓦⓞⓝⓖ with an even hand, and notable for its soft-spoken computers, irreverence towards religion, and absence of drug laws. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, cheerful population of 7.934 billion Ⓑⓐⓛⓓⓦⓘⓝ Ⓟⓐⓡⓚⓔⓡⓢ have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ⓑⓐⓛⓓⓦⓘⓝ Ⓟⓐⓡⓚ. The average income tax rate is 97.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Ⓑⓐⓛⓓⓦⓘⓝ Ⓟⓐⓡⓚⓘⓐⓝ economy, worth a remarkable 2,579 trillion Ⓛⓐⓑⓞⓡ Ⓝⓞⓣⓔs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 325,173 Ⓛⓐⓑⓞⓡ Ⓝⓞⓣⓔs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The nation's youth would rather watch paint dry than the news, vanity is the constant enemy of dignity, young children are regularly seen wagering pocket money at blackjack tables, and the Museum of Blackacrean War Crimes is located on "Blackacre Did Nothing Wrong Avenue". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Baldwin Park's national animal is the Ⓑⓛⓐⓒⓚ Ⓒⓗⓘⓒⓚⓔⓝ, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Ⓑⓤⓓⓓⓗⓘⓢⓜ.

Baldwin Park is ranked 1,238^th in the world and 4^th in Hell for Most Patriotic, with 113.64 flags saluted per person per day.