The Johnified States of Johnified America is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by President John with an iron fist, and notable for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, anti-smoking policies, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 31.523 billion Johnified Americans are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New John City MT. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 36.5%.

The thriving Johnified American economy, worth a remarkable 1,910 trillion shell casings a year, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Automobile Manufacturing, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Information Technology. Average income is 60,598 shell casings, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 174,366 per year while the poor average 16,732, a ratio of 10.4 to 1.

All government facilities are built in the subterranean citadel of New John City MT, President John has just been declared ruler of Johnified America in an international press conference, most Johnified American video games are banned in other countries, and schoolchildren learn basic numeracy by counting off their push-ups. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Johnified America's national animal is the hawk.

Johnified America is ranked 224,816^th in the world and 3^rd in Johnified States of America for Highest Poor Incomes, with 16,732.36 Standard Monetary Units.