The Republic of Tristan de Cunha is a colossal, genial nation, ruled by President Thomas Glass with a fair hand, and renowned for its frequent executions, public floggings, and suspicion of poets. The compassionate, democratic, devout population of 3.256 billion Tristans enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Welfare, and Spirituality. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Lambert's Town. The average income tax rate is 21.3%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The large but underdeveloped Tristan de Cunhan economy, worth 105 trillion Tristan Pounds a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Furniture Restoration, Pizza Delivery, and Cheese Exports. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 32,279 Tristan Pounds, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

Both diets and economic output are growing leaner with recent restrictions to free trade, private pharmacies close down as medicinal drugs are given away freely by the government, the nation is stuck in permanent election mode as politicians demand constant do-overs, and putting houses on stilts is elevating house porches and prices alike. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Tristan de Cunha's national animal is the Tristan Albatross, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Roman Catholic Church.

Tristan de Cunha is ranked 180,071^st in the world and 5,734^th in Balder for Fattest Citizens, with 9.64 Obesity Rate.