The Holy Armed Republic of The Armed Union is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by The Marshal with an iron fist, and notable for its pith helmet sales, free-roaming dinosaurs, and public floggings. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 1.839 billion Armed Unionites are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Administration, and Education also on the agenda, while International Aid is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ironspire. The average income tax rate is 92.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Armed Unionite economy, worth 296 trillion Quilos a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Tourism. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 160,933 Quilos, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Citizens who fail to follow the official national religion are executed, gymnasts are in awe at the amount of hoops army applicants must jump through, the government raises tariffs on a weekly basis, and terrorism and assassination are tried-and-true methods of political activism. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Armed Union's national animal is the War Elephant, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is The Cult of War.

The Armed Union is ranked 235,375^th in the world and 1,017^th in Europeia for Rudest Citizens, with 30.98 insults per minute.