The United Socialist States of Donauvolk is a huge, safe nation, remarkable for its frequent executions, irreverence towards religion, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 272 million Donaus are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. The average income tax rate is 69.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The very strong Donau economy, worth 17.4 trillion Donau Francs a year, is led by the Basket Weaving industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Trout Farming, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 64,108 Donau Francs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Military equipment stores have a tendency to go up in flames, farting etiquette is taught in schools, there has been a series of riots between local cannibals and health food advocates, and students who do not recite the national anthem each morning have to drop and give their teacher 50. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Donauvolk's national animal is the Finch, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution.

Donauvolk is ranked 32,744^th in the world and 805^th in the South Pacific for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 52.44 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.