The Goose's Old Snacc of Cheesy Tots is a gargantuan, safe nation, remarkable for its avant-garde cinema, zero percent divorce rate, and restrictive gun laws. The quiet, industrious population of 10.04 billion Cheesy Totsians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Healthcare. The average income tax rate is 35.4%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The strong Cheesy Totsian economy, worth 690 trillion florins a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Woodchip Exports industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Automobile Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 68,815 florins, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.2 times as much as the poorest.

Passive-aggressive congratulations cards inform mums-to-be that their pregnancy is their greatest achievement in life, Cheesy Totsian watches list strained wrists as a common side effect, private businesses are paving paradises to put up parking lots, and anything is permissible when wearing latex gloves. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cheesy Tots's national animal is the crocodile, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to heavy metals seepage into national waterways.

Cheesy Tots is ranked 117,765^th in the world and 306^th in Refugia for Lowest Crime Rates, with 63.94 law-abiding acts per hour.