The People's Republic of Nordgardia is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Ewiger Präsident Timsen with an even hand, and renowned for its compulsory military service, devotion to social welfare, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic population of 18.316 billion Nordgardics enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The large, liberal, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Timville-Ruhrstadt. The average income tax rate is 96.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Nordgardian economy, worth a remarkable 3,222 trillion Münzes a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 175,921 Münzes, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Children's daycare starts at the crack of dawn, serial killers who are released early distribute death but not their seed, veterans' meet-ups involve a lot of tail sniffing, and a shocking number of estate planners are beneficiaries of their clients' wills. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Nordgardia's national animal is the Todeskralle, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Nordgardia is ranked 3,007^th in the world and 8^th in United Kingdom for Nicest Citizens, with 60.77 average smiles per day.