The People's Republic of Nordgardia is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Ewiger Präsident Timsen with an even hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, free-roaming dinosaurs, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate population of 15.71 billion Nordgardics enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The large, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Timville-Ruhrstadt. The average income tax rate is 96.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Nordgardian economy, worth a remarkable 2,729 trillion Münzes a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 173,755 Münzes, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Feeling like a winner comes at a price, the running costs of homeless shelters are so high that it would be cheaper to buy houses for the homeless, passive-aggressive congratulations cards inform mums-to-be that their pregnancy is their greatest achievement in life, and children are disappointed to learn that cavemen never had a yabba-dabba-doo time riding dinosaurs to work. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Nordgardia's national animal is the Todeskralle, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Nordgardia is ranked 295,357^th in the world and 949^th in United Kingdom for Fattest Citizens, with 5.39 Obesity Rate.