The People's Republic of Nordgardia is a colossal, socially progressive nation, ruled by Eternal President Tim with a fair hand, and notable for its anti-smoking policies, daily referendums, and pith helmet sales. The compassionate, democratic population of 7.773 billion Nordgardics hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Тиман. The average income tax rate is 94.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Nordgardian economy, worth a remarkable 1,329 trillion Münzes a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 171,096 Münzes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.2 times as much as the poorest.

The fire brigade often deal with cases of burnt toast, would-be emigrants are told "abandon all hope all ye who would exit here", mystics are claiming that a simultaneous rise in scepticism and education budgets is correlation rather than causation, and it turns out that you actually can put a price on intangible cultural heritage. Crime is totally unknown. Nordgardia's national animal is the Deathclaw, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Nordgardia is ranked 85,168^th in the world and 94^th in Soviet Democracy for Most Corrupt Governments, with 3.29 Kickbacks Per Hour.