The Dictatorship of Aeschlandia is a gargantuan, cultured nation, remarkable for its museums and concert halls, ubiquitous missile silos, and fear of technology. The hard-nosed, hard-working, devout population of 11.566 billion Aeschlandians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The relatively small government prioritizes Spirituality, with Education, Law & Order, and Industry also on the agenda, while Welfare and Social Policy are ignored. The average income tax rate is 13.6%.

The all-consuming Aeschlandian economy, worth a remarkable 1,172 trillion pounds a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Retail, Uranium Mining, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an impressive 101,347 pounds, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.2 times as much as the poorest.

Quiet professionalism has returned to the nation's armed forces, the deaf are perplexed when the weather report tells them that the wind will be "bringing some rain along the Nazi ghosts", trade policy consists of ganging up on the new guy, and official government guidance encourages binge behaviors. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Aeschlandia's national animal is the dolphin, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Aeschlandia is ranked 56,025^th in the world and 3,083^rd in Balder for Most Patriotic, with 25.01 flags saluted per person per day.