The Most Serene Republic of Valenair is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Captain-Regent Pavao Halford XII with an even hand, and remarkable for its unlimited-speed roads, smutty television, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, devout population of 10.841 billion Valenairians enjoy some of the most opulent lifestyles in the region, unless they are unemployed or working-class, in which case they are variously starving to death or crippled by easily preventable diseases.

The minute, corrupt, liberal, pro-business government, or what there is of one, juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of St George. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Valenairian economy, worth a remarkable 2,745 trillion Florins a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 253,216 Florins, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,218,720 per year while the poor average 30,654, a ratio of 39.8 to 1.

Crossword puzzles have been co-opted as a symbol of racial discrimination, blackface performers claim they are being deliberately ironic, Valenairian husbands are dead good at fathering kids, and the government maintains a Department of Skulduggery. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Valenair's national animal is the Dragon, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Valenairian Byzantine Catholic.

Valenair is ranked 30,075^th in the world and 1,885^th in Balder for Most Corrupt Governments, with 72.07 kickbacks per hour.