The Empire of Valcouria is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Emperor Constantine I with an iron fist, and remarkable for its national health service, frequent executions, and avowedly heterosexual populace. The hard-working, cynical, cheerful, devout population of 25.664 billion Valcourians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The tiny government juggles the competing demands of Education, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bainbridge. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Valcourian economy, worth an astonishing 10,315 trillion Dollars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Retail, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 401,951 Dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.1 times as much as the poorest.

Police officers have been re-kitted with designer uniforms and gold-plated handcuffs, Red Cross demand for body bags is rising while sutures go unused, the new classical revitalization of Bainbridge is expected to be completed sometime in the next century, and mall countdown clocks warn that there are only 364 more shopping days until Maxxmas. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Valcouria's national animal is the White-tailed Eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Roman Catholicism.

Valcouria is ranked 6,411^th in the world and 9^th in Anteria for Nicest Citizens, with 42.35 average smiles per day.